Let me talk

I know I need to be validated
to strain my sadness seperated
to keep it under my skin
while i smile and let you in
you say you can trust me
and speak so damn easily
may i talk to anyone?
before they spill and run?
never saying what I need to let go
yet my face would never show
how I am so far apart
from the middle of my heart
that the world runs circles round
my shoes that clutch the ground
a blur of faces and events
and my lack of confidence
tell me who i am
and what to say
i have been crying
every, single, day
can i write something profound?
i will try now, my lips endowed
for years I kept my mouth....
and now, i crave to be loud.

My Mixed bag of thoughts

Notice my nakedness covers
and my prolongation of mouth sounds
and my successful sobriety from myself
and a pulse the world's never felt.

Notice my color explosion iris's
and your green thoughts and hands
whilst you slump up straight
I'd awkwardly stand

Then I experiment with I
and forget about you
I am an unique machine
Built like new
Cogs and wheels
like the ones in a clock
except time is not moving
and all the seconds have stopped

As meaningful as a footprint
left in grains of sand
as is placing a dollar
in the homeless mans hand

When we touch it's as if all of my mind quarreling has ended and my heart yawns and lies in a hammock of comfort.

When i see you, my eyes tell my soul to notice.

Faith is walking through your house with the lights off, and closing your eyes as well.

Thoughts in New Westminster

A musician plays for an audience of 17 in the black night, in a red light.
It's 11:18 but he's not quite through.
A man celebrates a birthday with a sparkler at the patio table.
A couple walks slowly together on the boardwalk.
I'm standing on a balcony noticing.
The musician plays Happy Birthday for the man.
I feel bad that I didn't buy anything from an african man in the marketplace.
Who spent an hour holding a mirror so I could see how the clothes looked.
And who shook my hand when I left.
But when is the love of my life going to come back to the hotel?
I guess the wedding's not quite finished.
The Casino riverboat never casts off.
Hm.







[written during summer vacation]

A Rare Darling

Helpful and reserved for genuinity. Soft spoken and humane. Not meek, but compassionate in the simplest terms. I'd love to show him that his quiet actions make the world a windless place. Unruffled by greed, he coexists within himself and his own boundries. Muttering buttoned up kindness to whoever will listen to him. Smiling when we notice him, but when left standing alone, lost, red-faced and still. Searching for something to lean on, someone to lean in close to, to get as close as possible to a potential friend and soul. A tender, intimate sigh of words that is barely audible to those who don't care to lean back just as close to him.

He causes hurt in a person unintentionally. He turns and looks at me silently with troubled, oblivious eyes. I reassure this boy, and explain that he was not at fault, only an accident. He looks as if he doesn't understand, maybe he doesn't. So I keep talking. I want to keep talking. I would love to keep talking. Waiting for the rare smile once again.


[written based on observation and interaction with this individual]

The Impact of a Stranger

If we cannot meet again
what is the purpose?
questioning others' actions
while we hang ourselves
quite automatically
almost mindlessly
and very intuitively

In comparison....

Looking up occasionally
to a blank expression
of what we're worth
then lowering our heads
to the mind's memory
of what we've become
only to forget why
we even begun to intertwine.

two minds cannot stay apart
for too long, wretched be the act
of picking at that forgotten scar
wasting the time we have.
grasp, don't judge
because you won't have time
to question



yourself



let alone the stranger


who has already left your thoughts


and this place.

Our Sound

I want to share music with you, to have a guitar duel at our white and gold wedding with our instruments harmonizing eachother in the dazzling spotlight, an aching ballad, we could play our hearts out. Set up a music venue with a stage in our basement, we could record our songs in our own little studio, play and experiment with our creations, and our minds. We could rehearse and bend our music late into the night and shred the early hours of the morning. We'd explore our boundries. Make our instruments scream. Calluses on our fingers. We would hear the deep vibrato of the others' soul, even when we are not playing. And every day, I'd perform this song with you all over again

so we can understand eachother

through sound.

Electric.

6:41

Your mind is streaming autumn
You bite your lip into a blood garden
And who says
this is who you say you are
this time
6:40
Everyone falls
to your feet
once again
Losing every leaf you've held
to the harsh surface
of yourself
6:41

only a word?

Please don't bring love down
It's not just a word
to be tossed around
It carries so much
Described as horrible and upsetting.
How can it be?
When it is supposed to be the most beautiful thing we could ever
Feel, give, or witness?
Why bring down love?
When at times, it's all you need
I don't understand.
I just hope everyone can experience it
before throwing it away.
We're all capable of it
What goes around comes around
and this wealth is free